Is it odd that I don't think of myself as a writer? I feel like I'm supposed to define myself as such, but I really don't. Besides, that's what I'm doing right now for a living: writing and editing.
But I have to be honest: I feel cheap, writing what I'm writing. Like a $5 hooker. I can do better than this. I can write something of more substance. Not that SPU has no substance. But what I'm writing has no passion, no deep thought, no longing to say what one feels, behind it. Its really discouraging me.
I really need to buckle down and WRITE. Write to my heart's content. Write the stories that are brewing in my head. Finish the ones I have begun. I need to live out THIS:
"Write as if you were dying. At the same time, assume you write for an audience consisting solely of terminal patients. That is, after all, the case. What would you begin writing if you knew you would die soon? What could you say to a dying person that would not enrage by its triviality?" -Annie Dillard
I want to be included with the likes of Ibsen, Woolf, Updike. Those who slaved away over mere sentences, mere words, not because they were forced to, but because they wanted to make something of their very own that was beautiful.
I doubt that I'll create anything truly, intrinsically beautiful ever, but the longing to do so is inside me, and I think that counts for something.
1 comment :
Write baby write! Make time to put down on paper what is in your heart, head, and soul.
I know what deep & meaningful writing you are capable of for I have all your early works saved on our pc. Allie, you too WILL BE included with the great writers. Your fiction AND non-fiction writing will ROCK your readers WORLD! I believe you can do it.
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