Maybe it's the glass of wine I'm drinking, maybe it's the fact that I'm alone tonight... or maybe it's because I have been ruminating over the mystery of relationships... But I began to cry at the end of "Sleepless in Seattle." Big shocker, I know.
"He asked me to take a midnight walk on the steel pier…then he held my hand. At one point I looked down and I couldn’t tell which fingers were his and which were mine…and I knew…you know…magic! It was magic."
"It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic."
Goodness gracious. Does this happen? This magic thing? I don't know. I think it might, but it's fleeting. One moment it's there. Then it's gone. That's what makes it magic. Is it depressing that I just made that statement? Damnit, I want the magic. I'll always want the magic. I'll never stop wanting it. Even if it doesn't last; even if the magic--whatever the hell that really means-- doesn't last.
Watching this movie reminds me of mommy. She knows all the lines. Just like I do.
Ok. I think about this quote a lot. Please don't shoot me for being ridiculously corny right now...
"I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." ... Carrie Bradshaw
I know, I KNOW. It's the wine. Totally the wine. I'm trying to convince myself to only have one glass. We'll see if that happens.
Why did God make men and women so different? I feel like women are so desperate. So desperate for love. Or maybe that's just me. And Carrie. I'm with her. What is this life that we're given? What is it without love? It is what gets me through every day. The people that I love in my life get me through. I love my family. I love my friends dearly. I love. I am made to love. And I yearn for it.
Here I am, crying again. What is all this mumbo-jumbo that I'm writing??? You know, I really don't know what is going to become of me. Or anyone else for that matter. Life is a great big mystery, and I guess that's what it's definition is... I have a feeling I'm going to laugh at this tomorrow.
Ok. The end.
6 comments :
i used to write blogs like this all the time but i would delete them. kudos for being honest!
i met my husband four years ago and it wasn't magical at all. actually i kind of hated him. a couple years later it was magical. ten months later we got married.
everybody wants the magic. don't settle for less. it happens!!
I love posts like these and I feel the same thing.
"Seattle!?? It rains over 300 days a year in Seattle!"
"I KNOW!"
*ok I don't remember the exact number
waaaaaaa... i've been having a bad day, and all i want is LOVE!!!! i could cry, but i haven't had a sip of wine and can't use it as an excuse. i relate.
and believe me, it really freakin sucks when only one of the 2 in a pair feels the magic, and then the relationship is ended by the one without the magic feeling. BLEH. i'm grumpy.
I remember these feelings ...
My husband is magical and when I met him I thought he was hairy, fat, goofy, etc. Last Friday, he picked me up from work, took me to Golden Gardens for a picnic, and wrote me a very cheesy low-grade poem. I think I cried. I'm in love.
Hope you're feeling better today. He's out there ... for real ... he'll think you are the most amazing thing alive ... then you'll know
sometimes I am in love with being in love. It is real, we all feel it and it doesn't make us less of anything for feeling that way.
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