Thursday, August 5, 2010

Proust Questionnaire


Midwest transplant, nurse extraordinaire, and Jane Birkin doppelganger: Danielle, or D.I.Y., has fast become one of my Seattle besties. She's hella crafty, very generous, and obsessed with everything Norwegian.


What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Working on a farm on a Norwegian fjord.

What is your greatest fear?
My greatest irrational fear is of seaweed. My greatest rational fear is of being alone, never finding love.

Which living person do you most admire?
My nursing client. I can't get into it too much. Thank you, HIPAA.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I fully intend to overuse many phrases from the "Sassy Gay Friend" series on YouTube, such as "look at your life, look at your choices" and "she's a stupid beaaaach."

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
There is no way I'm drawing attention to it by naming it.

Which living person do you most despise?
My ex-boyfriend Andreas. I had known him and been best friends with him for six years. After dating for a year he broke up with me completely out-of-the-blue three days before I was flying to Norway to see him. All this isn't unforgivable. The real worst, rotten, without-a-doubt part is that I haven't seen or heard anything from him since that day. Six years of friendship down the drain.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Seattle. My mistress on the side: Norway.

Which talent would you most like to have?
Being able to sing.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
As I've been working nights, I've been really zoned out. This results in forgetting who I talk to, what I talk about, and, oh, I dunno, what day it is. I would change my sleep deprivation. Thankfully, that's not a permanent problem.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I would change that they would care more about the environment. Come on, Dad! Global climate change!

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
I would be a bat, my newly decided-upon power animal. Not a vampire bat. A fruit bat?

What is your most treasured possession?
My photographs.

What is your favorite occupation?
Ha. Fashion designer.

What is your most marked characteristic?
It has been said I am blunt. I think that it's what sets me apart from the rest.

What do you most value in your friends?
Creativity.

Who are your favorite writers?
Haruki Murakami. Erland Loe.

Who are your heroes in real life?
People who donate their bone marrow to sick people that they will never meet.

What is it that you most dislike?
Making fun of the mentally handicapped.

How would you like to die?
Bleeding out because you lose consciousness. It would be great if no one had to clean up my blood, too. Actually, it would be great if my blood landed in a compost pile.

What is your motto?
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

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