Sitting in a cupcake/coffee shop on Market Street in the heart of Ballard. The cupcakes aren't particularly good, but cupcakes are a popular fixture in upper-middle class/economically well-off/artisan-organic-foraged-obsessed neighborhoods.
One of AIR's albums is playing. But that was a given, I suppose.
And in walks your typical male archetype of my generation. Charming stubble, slouchy beanie, well-fitting jeans, retro sneakers, vintage-looking leather satchel, used copy of a Cormac McCarthy novel.
My figurative ears perk up. Like in a coyote/road-runner cartoon sort of way.
Will he think I'm cool enough? I have my fake glasses on, my bangs, my hair in a high bun... brown boots. I'm typing away on my Macbook. I am trying to look like "the typical female archetype" in order to attract said male.
And then.... I instantly feel so stupid. So unoriginal. So forced.
Sawry, man. I rarely listen to KEXP. In fact, I'm currently listening to Lea Salonga sing "Own My Own" from "Les Mis." (Stupid Marius, falling for Cosette).
So I guess what I'm trying to say is: Allie, stop being so desperate, to the point you're pulling up Photobooth to see if your face is brooding enough for whatever independent coffee shop you're sitting in. BARF. You have 20/20 vision. Take off the horn-rims. Let your luscious red locks down.
Final note: How amazing is that meme?! Angela Lansbury: WINNING, DUH.
Sawry, man. I rarely listen to KEXP. In fact, I'm currently listening to Lea Salonga sing "Own My Own" from "Les Mis." (Stupid Marius, falling for Cosette).
So I guess what I'm trying to say is: Allie, stop being so desperate, to the point you're pulling up Photobooth to see if your face is brooding enough for whatever independent coffee shop you're sitting in. BARF. You have 20/20 vision. Take off the horn-rims. Let your luscious red locks down.
Final note: How amazing is that meme?! Angela Lansbury: WINNING, DUH.
4 comments :
Hahaha The Photobooth part got me. That's funny and something I've done. Although, it's usually when I think i have a cool look going, until I take a picture and then I think, 'Oh, wait. Nevermind.'
Don't feel stupid. You're not alone. I think twenty-something Seattle really needs to grow out of the hipster phase. Just generally speaking, I like to hate on hipsters. I think anytime someone tries to define themselves by a lifestyle (other than one in Christ, I suppose), they end up not being themselves. That's why I can rest easy that I have Sufjan Stevens, Bob Dylan, Band of Horses, White Stripes, Led Zeppelin, Allman Brothers, MF Doom, Pigeon John, Neil Young, The Who, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Grouch, Bon Iver, Bruce Springsteen, CCR, DC Talk, etc, etc, etc... all sitting together in my cd case, when a hipster would be aghast at some of these albums even existing in the same world. It's pretty normal to want to project an image of oneself that is winning, especially in order to attract someone who you think would like all of those things, but in the end it rings hollow, I guess. You end up losing sight of what you really enjoy.
I just read in a Watercolor How-To book this perfect line that somehow applies: 'Always paint the things you want to paint, not the things you imagine you ought to paint.' So, always be the person you want to be, not the person you imagine you ought to be. So if you want to be a hipster, ignore all of the hate I just slung and be a hipster.
I loooove this. You are wonderful. Write more more more!
I remember once having a conversation with a cute boy at a birthday party in Belltown. I had on a dress, heels, my hair was in an elaborate pony-tail, and I had red lipstick on. We did the, "I did..." "Oh really...?" "It's funny you know..." "Oh, HA HA HA!" (hair toss, smirky grin, look away and be coy.)
After walking away I grumpily wished that I had on jeans, a t-shirt, and that my hair was down. It all felt so CONTRIVED. Later that night I wrote in my journal: "I just want to have conversations that are not red-lipsticked."
In fact, I stopped wearing red lipstick for a while, just on principle. :) I'm wearing it again now-- but not for boys.
Just for me. :)
Be YOU Allie. It's the best.
Feeling extra great about getting to read this before it went "live" on the bloggy. Ser tho girl, you gots it going on. I liked Adam's quote about watercolor-ing. So much truth.
I honestly wonder though if there is ANYONE who doesn't try portray themselves slightly differently than who they truly are...don't we all to an extent? Is it inevitable, I wonder?
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