In French, it literally means "change ideas." My therapist taught me that today. What she was getting at was me being able to change my thoughts (or ideas) about certain things in my life. Like, for example, just picking this off the top of my head: Being single. I could feel really awful about this. And honestly, I have been lately. Especially when I'm around smug couples (and by no means is this post a personal vendetta against couples who are blissfully in love; I really am happy for you).
I confessed to my therapist that I often feel like The Other when I'm the only single person (or one of the only) at a social event. Thoughts like, "shit, I am not as complete as these people because I don't have a significant other," or "they probably all think I'm weird because I don't have a boyfriend. Or do they think I'm a lesbian? They could think I'm a lesbian..." Doesn't that suck? It makes me so ashamed of myself! Because, oh my god, here's a thought: I can be complete on my own! I can be ok by myself. Better than ok: FABULOUS.
I think this will be a work-in-progress, but I really want to challenge myself to changer des idées about being single. Like, think of it as a positive rather than a negative (which, side-note, sometimes the Christian community makes it out to be, whether intentionally or not). I've definitely grasped this state-of-mind in the past, but currently, I'm just in a season where I'm constantly thinking, "holy shit, what if I don't find anyone? What if I'm single for the rest of my life?" Seriously, what is wrong with me. I'm such a drama queen.
Here's another brilliant aphorism from my therapist: I CHOOSE ME. Corny, I know, but, I'm going to choose hanging out with my awesome self rather than some loser guy just so I'm not alone. I choose me because I'm funny, adorable, lovable, smart, thoughtful, kind, sweet, effervescent, sharp as a tack, goofy, ridiculously talented, artistic, insightful, and sexy as hell. And girls out there: I hope you choose you too.
My guardian angel/therapist concluded by saying something along the lines of:
"Once you grasp the fact that you are a great person, it will attract an equally great person."
Me: "I hope you're right."
Guardian angel/therapist: "Oh, I am. Don't worry."
8 comments :
i am so randomly able to check in on on your blog. but seriously allie. holy smokes. YOU ARE GREAT.
I love your guardian angel/therapist
:)
I believe she may have said some equally smart things to me that have forever changed the way I think about 'singleness'
Bravo!
I have thought about this issue in so many ways, over many many days, and am in a season of delightful peace about the whole thing.
But that whole story cannot be summed up in a blog comment. Maybe we can talk about it on Saturdaaaaaaay!
"Oh, I am, don't worry."
LOVE IT.
Way to be, Allie. Way to be.
WOO, amen to your therapist and AMEN to you sista!!!!!!! you are wonderful and ALWAYS bring joy, fun, and lightness to my life which I need so badly and rarely get from most people. Value you, invest in you. You are the BEST and you can give your best to someone else once you really feel like you are filled with so much awesome love for yourself that you just have to let it spill over onto someone else. You are so special to me and are deserving of an incredible love of yourself, first and foremost. Love hanging out with YOU.
I love hanging out with you too <3
xo Moorea
Can I just say,
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi - i just started reading your blog and this post really hit me. i have been having the same feelings about being single and i'm trying to be okay with it but sometimes its hard. thanks for the great words. it makes me feel like i'm not the last single girl on earth =)
Once a girl try to call me a lesbian because I was single. This was back in High School but it was such a shock.
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