Guest Post: Maddie From "Spidatter"

I've known Allie since she was starring in the junior high version of Hello, Dolly, and I was the 7th grade spelling bee champ. AKA the most socially awkward periods of our lives. So this is why I have enough street cred with Allie to write on her blog while she is sipping margs with her mama in Kauai. I asked her if I could come. She said, "No, but you can guest post on my blog!" Totes the next best thing.

Allie and I semi-regularly joke about starting up a relationships blog. Not because we have excelled in this category and are living in married bliss, but rather because we have dated a fair amount, enjoyed a lot of it, really not enjoyed some of it, and learned a profusion of lessons in the process. All of which we hope to bring into future relationships. Which are going to be awesome.

The last time I was home in Santa Barbara (where Allie and I grew up), I sorted through a bunch of old chests and boxes in my parents' garage to help clean out "high school stuff." I was such a pack rat...I think I saved almost every single note, Valentine's Day Card, Homecoming corsage (don't worry, finally tossed those) and paper that I ever wrote or received. 

I also found this: 






It's a page ripped out of my day-planner from my junior year of high school. I had made a Pros & Cons list and then juxtaposed my two biggest crushes of the week: Jered and Todd. Both of whom I hope never find this blog (no offense, Allie). 

Jered was the wild card: He won "Most Attractive" out of our senior class (can you even believe we had that as a category?!). He was flirtatious, a little too good with women, a phenomenal dancer, and damn good surfer. A real 11th-grade Don Juan, if you will. He also happened to smoke a ton of weed, not go to church (which I did), and cheat on his girlfriends.


Todd, on the other hand, was what me and my girlfriends called HHH—Holy, Hot and Humble. Keep in mind we were 14 when we made that up. Maybe 13. And the only main "con" he had against him was that I knew another girl who liked him too. And can you blame him?


So of course, I went with the wild card, like the idiot 16-year-old that I was. And he broke my little high school heart. Years later, Holy, Hot and Humble Todd is married to the sweetest girl (I even attended their wedding!)... and Jered is still single... and still calling me.


Which brings me to my point: Know what you want. And then follow through with it. I obviously knew what I wanted (see: ridiculous photo above). You can laugh at the pros and cons list, but they really help clear out the mind and allow you to see men and relationships on paper for what they're really worth. I knew what I wanted, but I let my hormones get the best of me and tried to validate myself through a relationship that held no existential meaning. 


The problem was that I didn't follow through with the core of who I was and what I wanted.
I know I'm focusing on high school, which many of us laugh off today, but I started a trend back then that continued on into my college and post-college years. In the words of Kelly Clarkson, "Don't hook up," make the good ones work for it (because they will), and push through the lonely nights with grace and dignity. Above all, listen to those closest to you who are in a position to speak truth into your life. They will probably tell you that HHH is worth the wait, Mr. "Most Attractive" won't always be such a good kisser, and you're damn well worth fighting for. And then they will/should hand you a glass of your favorite Malbec.