Advice

1. Don't put bananas in the fridge. It just doesn't work that way.

2. When running to the corner supermarket, it's perfectly acceptable to wear a weird outfit such as rain-boots, leggings, and shorts over those leggings.

3. Speaking of rain-boots, when wearing them, do not avoid puddles. Jump right into those sons a bitches.

4. Cargo shorts. That's a deal-breaker, ladies.

5. Sometimes the only action you'll get on a Friday night is kisses from a dauschund named Olli. It happens.

6. Once "the ball is in their court," don't keep hitting more balls into their court. One should suffice. More than one just comes off as desperate.

7. When wearing a grape costume on Halloween, keep in mind that guys (and some girls) will want to squeeze your grapes. For some reason, this did not cross my mind. I had to find out the hard way.

8. If you use the pick-up line, "don't you work at Sub Pop?," you might be a f*cking hipster.

9. If your Halloween costume requires an explanation in order for people to get it, such as, "I'm an unemployed Clark Kent/Superman, because journalism is dead," you might be a f*cking hipster.


*This post might have been inspired by imboycrazy.com.*