Barbie is 50!Barbie, I just want to tell you how much I have appreciated your presence in my life. I'm not going to put you on a pedestal, as something to be worshiped (although you are insanely gorgeous). I'm addressing you as my childhood playmate, who offered hours and hours of entertainment in the form of fashion and make-believe. Thank you. You have had a wonderful life so far. You put Madonna to shame, the way you keep reinventing yourself! On-and-off boyfriend Ken has been great to you. Three bitchin' cars: two jeeps and a turquoise Cadillac. A great family: Skipper and Stacey. And a lovely home, the Fold n' Fun House, plus a beautiful country home at Grandma Phyllis' house. Keep rocking it, girl. Don't listen to the critics, just keep being your beautiful, plasticky self.
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